I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He? As in you personified your dick?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
