if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
