sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
