when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
