jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
