we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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