Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
