the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
