Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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