Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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