wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
