She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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