She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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