Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
