We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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