dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
