I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
