you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
