Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
