mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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