I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
