Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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