im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
