You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
