Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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