My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
