Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
