Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
