We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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