I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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