38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
