Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
