I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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