all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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