I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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