my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize