Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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