I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
