well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
