batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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