omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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