remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
