Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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