I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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