He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
