I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
