Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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