let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
