i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
