Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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