one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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