porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The feeling are messing with the penis
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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