I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
